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TW: This article contains information regarding sexual assault. In healthy relationships all partners involved need to feel comfortable with the physical and sexual activities, be it kissing, touching and whatever else. When it comes to how far you would like to go sexually, you can communicate when you do not want to do something. If your partner, crush, or someone you are occasionally hooking up with makes you feel obligated or forced to do something you don’t want to do, you may be experiencing coercion.
What is Sexual Coercion?
Sexual coercion can be defined as “the act of using pressure, drugs or alcohol, or force to have sexual contact with someone against his or her will” and includes “persistent attempts to have sexual contact with someone who has already refused.” Sexual coercion is classified as sexual assault.
What Coercion Might Look Like
· Threats
Sometimes your partner might clearly say what they will do if you do not give in or they might threaten you more subtly using sentences like: “If you won’t sleep with me, I’ll just find someone else.”
· Emotional manipulation
In this intense, your partner may verbally say “okay, that’s fine” but their body language may indicate something different. So, they will walk away or slam doors or even start crying.
· Badgering
Repeatedly asking someone for sexual activities after they have already refused can also be considered coercion.
· Guilt Trips
People can make you feel guilty by spinning the situation to make it seem as if you have done something wrong. “You haven’t been giving me affection lately, you must be getting it from someone else.”
How to React
If you find yourself in a situation where you are being coerced, a good first step would be to call them out directly and firmly. You can say: “I do not want to have sexual relations with you and I am not going to change my mind.”
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